A Mix Tape From Jesus

My husband and I are separated and I'm trying to be strong desperately praying for him to return to our marriage. Yesterday was my birthday and I have been depressed all day from not hearing from him at all. He's told me it's over, he's moved on , and that he wants a divorce. Still I am hopeful as I walk with the Lord standing on His word yet I am very much struggling to finish the task of being at the grocery store.

Finally I get to my car and drive away but have to quickly pull over to fall apart. As I'm bawling at my impromptu pitty party for one Chris Tomlin's "Amazing Grace" is on K-LOVE reminding me that Jesus took my place and neared the cross for me. In an instant I kick everyone out and end the pity party and remind myself of what I have to be thankful for and of how much my Lord who loves me has done for me. Here I am whining over a husband whose only been a boy in this marriage while the Creator of universe who sacrificed Himself for me so that we could be together forever gets overlooked. As if it wasn't enough, as if He wasn't enough... 

As I pull in to my parking space "So will I" comes on and reminds me of the beauty and majesty of the God who loves me and return my focus to Him and just in my car as the music penetrates my body. I close my eyes and imagine "in the vapor of His breath the planets form" and let the lyrics sink in and really resonate in my heart. 

Still I shuffle out of the car in a daze and begin to head up into my apartment alone and notice two neighbors carrying in groceries. I hadn't forgotten all about my groceries. As I go back to get my groceries I begin to start another pity party and ask the Lord "where is my Boaz, Lord?"

Again as I come into my home I begin to fall apart again wondering how I've managed to waste almost 20 years of my adult life on two failed marriages to men who are not up to the responsibility of being a sober, a husband, a provider, or a father to their children. 

I try to pull myself together and turn  ring up the K-LOVE app on my laptop and "Magnify" comes on and I'm finally reentered focused on my Lord, His name, His glory, His will, and His will for my life and all my troubles les fade away as the peace washes in like a slow wave crashing softly on my heart and soul. 

Thank you, K-LOVE. Thank you, Jesus. You always know just what I need and how to touch my heart. God has been using you in my life for 13 yrs on so many occasions like tonight to let me know that I am loved, taken care of, a priority, and that it's all going to be alright.

Malawi, Africa Mission Trip 2017

I have an opportunity through my church via the International Mission Board to return to Malawi Africa as a missionary and the cost of the trip is $3,500 per person not including passport fees and shots.

I would like for my sister(in-law) to experience this incredible opportunity with me so I'm also trying to raise money for her to be able to go with me. This fundraiser is for both of us.

We need to raise $1,000 ($2000) of it by April 16th for my (our) deposit. . Prayerfully ask God if He wants you to help by donating to our trip. Donate Now


Mission Trip costs, schedule, and other details:
http://parkhills.org/missions/2017-malawi-mission-trip/

The Desire of my heart

Breathe. Just. Breathe.

Breathe, Brandi.

Just breathe.

Come and rest at my feet. 
and be.
just be.
Chaos calls,
but all you really need. is. to. just. breathe.

Work, life, the life I left behind, the life I am now in. It can hit me like a truck.

Breathe. Focus.

God will give you peace. He is the center.

RE-center yourself and focus on Him.

He's got this.

You don't have to do this alone.
Just breathe.
Come and rest ...
... at His feet.

Once and for All -

One of the most powerful worship songs I've ever felt (heard).



Complete Surrender happens when we are completely broken to the will of the Father.  Anything that we place above God is an idol. Lord, help me to lay it down. Help me to lay all of it down at Your feet and to never pick it back up. You and only You know what is good and what is right. My view is skewed and the heart is deceitful. Help me to lay it down. All of it. Once and for all. To live a life in complete surrender to Your will placing nothing above You.

Mother

There is nothing more precious to a mother than her children.

Cherish your children while you have them, because one day they might be taken from you.
Never let go. Never stop fighting.

spiritual growth

Ella Mae Bowen -Holding out for a hero

Wow.  What an amazing voice.

There are so many people in my life that have touched my heart.  How can one person have loved so many people in such a short lifetime.  If there's only one for me, Lord, why have I love for so many?

Some people touch your heart in a way that you ... well ... you just never get over.
For every boy or man I've ever loved - know that you touched my heart in a way that stayed.
When you really love, you love ... for life.
Love doesn't walk away.  People do.

My heart longs

My heart longs for my Father. I long to hear His voice. To feel His presence. To know what to do. I'm so scared and only He can give me the answers. Love is the most complex thing I've felt. Why can't it be simple.

There is a way -Newworldson

Footprints...

I like to hear that I have a kind heart.
I also know that I have a selfish heart.
I know that I was given a new heart and a new life in Christ Jesus.
I know who I am in Him
 and nothing you say can take that away from me.

I have had many people come in and out of my life.
I have loved many people in my 37yrs.
I have broken hearts and I have had mine broken.

God is the only one who will never break your heart.
He is the only one who can truly fill that void we feel in the deepest depths of our hearts.
He has filled my heart with endless memories of love.
For others, from others, for Him, from Him and through Him.

When we separate ourselves from those we love
We feel an emptiness
That sometimes never really goes away
just gets tucked away in a little space
between the heart and the soul

some have come in and out
and their footprints remain

dented into my very soul.

Angel of God, 

my guardian dear, 

to whom God’s love 

commits me here, 

ever this day

 [or night] 

be at my side, 

to light and guard, 

to rule and guide.

 Amen.

Romans 12:14-21

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Live in harmony with one another.
Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly.
Never be conceited.
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God,
for it is written, "Vengence is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."
To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink;
for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head."
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Closer to you

I need a Savior

Create in me a clean heart

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,

and cleanse me from my sin.

Against You, 

You only, 

have I sinned

and done what is evil in Your sight...

... and you teach me wisdom 

in the secret heart
let me hear joy and gladness,

let the bones that You have broken

rejoice.

Create in me a clean heart, O Lord, 

and renew a right spirit within me.

Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,

and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors

You ways

and sinners

will return to You.

O, Lord, open my lips,

and my mouth will declare Your praise.

The sacrifices of my Lord are a broken spirit,

and a broken contrite heart...

Attend to me, and answer me,

I am restless in my complaint

and I groan,

because of the noise of the enemy.

help me with my unbelief, O'LORD,

quiet the enemies voice before me.

Let me hear the sound of Your voice

in the stillness of my heart.

O God, save me by Your name,

and vindicate me by your might.

O God, hear my prayer;

give ear to the words of my mouth.

If You will, You can make me clean.

'But that I may know that the Son of Man

has authority on earth to forgive sins.'

and he said to him, "Follow me." 

And he rose

and followed him.

let me hear in the morning, 

of Your unfailing love

for I put my trust in You.

show me the way to go,

for to You

I lift up my soul.

Show me, Lord, where to go...

Just trust ... for we live by faith, not by sight. ... oh ye of little faith.

I surrender all

http://www.justrustclothing.com/

A spiritual death

I lie still as the water

My bitter visions are broken

Head caught in the torment

Cruel as the ocean

Dreams are made in the distance

I will not be among them

Silence is killing me

And I can hardly touch the ground

I am deep in a river

Waves above my head

Help with my spirit

We descend

We reach the end

I am deep in a river

Waves above my head

Help with my spirit

We descend

We reach the end

I am deep in a river

Waves above my head

Help with my spirit

We descend

We reach the end

We descend

We reach the end

Psalm 143:8

Song of love Rebecca St.James

home. 2nd row.

turn around, Brandi, you're going the wrong way.

Above All

Grace

YOU USED TO BE ABLE TO FIND ME BY FOLLOWING THE SOUND OF MY VOICE SINGING THIS IN MY CHURCH HALLWAYS AS I WALKED AROUND.

YOU PUT A NEW SONG IN MY HEART LORD, AGAIN.

IHS

Jesus H. Christ - IHS - The Christogram

In the Latin -speaking Christianity of medieval Western Europe (and so among Catholics and many Protestants today), the most common Christogram is "IHS" or "IHC", derived from the first three letters of the Greek name of Jesus, iota -eta -sigma or ΙΗΣ. Here the Greek letter eta was transliterated as the letter H in the Latin-speaking West (Greek eta and Latin-alphabet H had the same visual appearance and shared a common historical origin), while the Greek letter sigma was either transliterated as the Latin letter C (due to the visually-similar form of the lunate sigma), or as Latin S (since these letters of the two alphabets wrote the same sound). Because the Latin-alphabet letters I and J were not systematically distinguished until the 17th century, "JHS" and "JHC" are equivalent to "IHS" and "IHC".

"IHS" is sometimes interpreted as meaning Iesus Hominum Salvator ("Jesus, Savior of men", in Latin), or connected with In Hoc Signo . Some uses have even been created for the English language, where "IHS" is interpreted as an abbreviation of "I Have Suffered" or "In His Service". Such interpretations are known as backronyms . This abbreviation ("IHS") is likely the source of the joke that Jesus' full name is "Jesus H. Christ ."

One of the oldest Christograms is the Chi-Rho or Labarum . It consists of the superimposed Greek letters Chi Χ; and Rho Ρ, which are the first two letters of christ in Greek. Technically, the word labarum is Latin for a standard with a little flag hanging on it, used in the army. A Christogram was added to the flag as an image of the Greek letters Chi Rho, in the late Roman period. So Christogram and labarum are not originally synonyms.

The most commonly encountered Christogram in English-speaking countries in modern times is the X (or more accurately, Greek letter Chi) in the abbreviation Xmas (for "Christmas"), which represents the first letter of the word Christ.

I covet her talent.

Jody McBrayer - To Ever Live Without Me

Stronger Woman

WANNA BE ON FIRE AGAIN.

i have the heart of a missionary. And my candle is going out.

Relight that fire LORD

RIGHT THING TO SAY

so easy to lose sight of things.

BE STRONG

there is only one thing that settles for what you're worth- you are. Who you truly are is only found through the eyes of God and in His word. He says I love you with an everlasting love, I never do mistakes, you are not a mistake. You are not a failure, you are a priceless masterpiece from my thoughts and heart, molded by my hands, given skills and talents, given a place in this world only you can fill. I will never leave you nor forsake you, I am always waiting on you. Nothing you have done will ever make me love you less, I love you with all I am.

Don't let your past, your wrong decisions, your shortcomings define your worth or who you are, let them be tools in the loving, caring hand of God to refine you. You can always come to God as you are, but believe me- He won't let you stay as you are, He will love you, care for you, heal you, restore you, lead you out into freedom, He will transform you into a greater likeness of Christ. Yesterday is your past, today you can bring before God, He will plant in your heart the hope of a better tomorrow.

* Song: You are more
* Artist: Tenth Avenue North
* Album: The Light Meets the Dark (2010)

LOVE IT WHEN GOD SHOWS OFF.

HE IS CARRYING ME

HE IS MY REMEDY.

Speak To Me, Lord.

Suffering as a Christian

12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 14 If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory [1] and of God rests upon you. 15 But let none of you suffer as a murderer or a thief or an evildoer or as a meddler. 16 Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. 17 For it is time for judgment to begin at the household of God; and if it begins with us, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18 And

“If the righteous is scarcely saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?” [2]

19 Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.

Out of Fellowship

I really need this today.  I haven't written in so long and I've been so far.  He keeps pulling me back.  Pray that I'll listen.

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I'm managing.

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More like falling in love...

He loves me like no other.

Starting Proverbs tomorrow for the month of October.  I've really fallen out of fellowship with God and am looking forward to my journey back into his arms.

packin

So, one of these days I'm gonna get me a gun, learn how to shoot it, and get a license to carry it. Kinda scary and empowering all at that the same time. That's just how I'm gonna have to roll. I've got me a good man now. And he takes real good care of me. God shows His hand in our relationship too. He's taking care of me and wants good things for me. Fixes things and builds relationships. He builds up and encourages. I love him. bh.

lake trio

silly

wake up.

rough week. good lessons.